Big and Huge

“Do you think we ever see ourselves as big as we really are?” she softly asked.

My friend and I were catching up and eventually found ourselves in various closets trying on clothes. Even though she is small and petite, as we played dress up, she found several items which were too small. I wondered why she thought she looked big to others and why she thought she looked big to herself.

I think about the words, unwanted and hurtful, that others give us. Words that float in the air long after they stab our hearts and mercilessly implant themselves with permanence in our brains and memories. We seem to have an endless capacity to judge others until we imitate life and become experts at judging ourselves. Believing the lies that others tell us, sometimes their opinions become ours and we no longer see ourselves as we really are. In my friend’s case, I do see her as big. She has a big heart that cannot be measured. She has big talent without scope and big humor that makes me smile.

In the movie Pretty Woman, Julia Roberts whispered to Richard Gere that the bad things are easier to believe. We listen so well to others that we only see what they see in the mirror and soon, believe it for ourselves. We become so good in our new identities that we can no longer utter any good about ourselves. Those words are long forgotten and discarded -replaced by ugly phrases from others. Soon, we have transformed and become an other fulfilling prophecy.

I hope that one day my friend will no longer hear the voices of others and will no longer see their judgment personified in the mirror. I hope she will laugh as she looks both outwardly and inwardly and know that she is not only big, but she is HUGE. Huge in spirit and making a huge impact in the lives of her friends and the world.