Lost and Found

Lately, it seems that I’ve spent a great deal of undefined time looking for my life’s definition. So many years, looking down, searching for the perfect path in order to take the right step somewhere--anywhere. While longing to feel the earth ooze between my toes after a storm, I wandered instead on safe, dry ground. I recovered from events seen and unseen. I yearned for pieces of the past and dreams of the future to merge together and form a puzzle without missing parts. Most of all, I wondered what I’ve accomplished during these vast spans of time searching for place and space and people to walk alongside me on these trails.

The phone rings and I stop musing long enough to talk to a good friend. I glance at a card, sent by another friend, which made me laugh. I stumble over a beach bag given to celebrate an upcoming trip with three remarkable women. A text arrives from an inquiring friend who has been out of town. A necklace lies on the counter to return to another amazing friend who spontaneously loaned it to compliment the new outfit she helped me put together. I catch up on a full in box of emails sent from friends who shared input on an essay I wrote. I make quick calls to my sister and mother to share a tip of possible interest.

Apparently, while I was busy looking for my life; I lived it. I must have distributed pieces of my soul along the trail and opened my heart in the journey. Along the way, I did lose people and memories and time. I lost harsh edges and the ones living life as blood sport. I lost that which I never had and those who never really knew me.

In the softness, I found the beauty in those who picked up my pieces and created a new puzzle. I found the authenticity in those who give gifts beyond jewelry and knick knacks and trips. I found the grace in those who give time and heart and love. I found friends. I found family. I found myself.